哈佛大学2022年优秀文书范文公布(上篇)-上海托普仕留学

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哈佛大学2022年优秀文书范文公布(上篇)

上传时间:2022-08-12 11:05:35浏览量:152

摘要:《哈佛大学深红》每年都会刊出10篇优秀文书范文,以便未来申请者参考,这也成为每年写文书诸多国际生的参考模板,下面是哈佛大学2022年优秀文书范文公布的前三篇,可见都是以故事类出现,从细节凸显品格特性,下面就随上海托普仕留学Hanna老师一起去欣赏下吧!

  哈佛大学2022年优秀文书范文公布(上篇)-故事类文书,细节见人品,以情感取胜

  哈佛大学作为常青藤成员之一,不仅在学术水平上严苛,更在软实力和品格特性上也严格要求,以至于除了常见的标化成绩和GPA和高中课程之外,这里对于文书材料也很重视,以至于书写出一篇优秀的文书,成为进入哈佛大学的必要前提,近期,thecrimson.com《哈佛大学深红报》刊出了10篇哈佛大学2022年优秀文书范文,下面是前三篇,后7篇,将以中篇和下篇的方式出现!

哈佛大学2022年优秀文书范文.png

  PART 101:Eda's Essay

  Successful Harvard Essay:

  Homeless for Thirteen Years

  I sat on my parents’ bed weeping with my head resting on my knees. “Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you have to show me the house and then take it away from me?” Hopelessly, I found myself praying to God realizing it was my last resort.

  For years, my family and I found ourselves moving from country to country in hopes of a better future. Factors, such as war and lack of academic opportunities, led my parents to pack their bags and embark on a new journey for our family around the world. Our arduous journey first began in Kuçovë, Albania, then Athens, Greece, and then eventually, Boston, Massachusetts. Throughout those years, although my family always had a roof over our heads, I never had a place I could call “home.”

  That night that I prayed to God, my mind raced back to the night I was clicking the delete button on my e-mails, but suddenly stopped when I came upon a listing of the house. It was September 22, 2007 —eight years exactly to the day that my family and I had moved to the United States. Instantly, I knew that it was fate that was bringing this house to me. I remembered visiting that yellow house the next day with my parents and falling in love with it. However, I also remembered the heartbreaking phone call I received later on that week saying that the owners had chosen another family’s offer.

  A week after I had prayed to God, I had given up any hopes of my family buying the house. One day after school, I unlocked the door to our one-bedroom apartment and walked over to the telephone only to see it flashing a red light. I clicked PLAY and unexpectedly heard the voice of our real estate agent. “Eda!” she said joyfully. “The deal fell through with the other family—the house is yours! Call me back immediately to get started on the papers.” For a moment, I stood agape and kept replaying the words in my head. Was this really happening to me? Was my dream of owning a home finally coming true?

  Over the month of November, I spent my days going to school and immediately rushing home to make phone calls. Although my parents were not fluent enough in English to communicate with the bank and real estate agent, I knew that I was not going to allow this obstacle to hinder my dream of helping to purchase a home for my family. Thus, unlike a typical thirteen-year-old girl’s conversations, my phone calls did not involve the mention of makeup, shoes, or boys. Instead, my conversations were composed of terms, such as “fixed-rate mortgages,” “preapprovals,” and “down payments.” Nevertheless, I was determined to help purchase this home after thirteen years of feeling embarrassed from living in a one-bedroom apartment. No longer was I going to experience feelings of humiliation from not being able to host sleepovers with my friends or from not being able to gossip with girls in school about who had the prettiest room color.

  I had been homeless for the first thirteen years of my life. Although I will never be able to fully repay my parents for all of their sacrifices, the least I could do was to help find them a home that they could call their own—and that year, I did. To me, a home means more than the general conception of “four walls and a roof.” A home is a place filled with memories and laughter from my family. No matter where my future may lead me, I know that if at times I feel alone, I will always have a yellow home with my family inside waiting for me.

  专家点评:

  诚实的、令人心碎的、强大的。

  这是我们阅读Eda的文书后,首先想到的三个词。

  我们喜欢Eda的文书的地方在于,它有令人耳目一新的脆弱性。太多的申请文书“太”完美了,而Eda不会扭曲真相,即使承认她的内心想法可能会给她带来负面的印象。例如,她以她在父母床上哭泣的场景开始整篇文书,并将自己的不幸归咎于他们。通过如此诚实的描述,Eda展示了她随着时间的推移,得到真正的成长。

  在整篇文书中,她的个人声音也很强烈。当她谈到爱上“那栋黄色的房子”时,我们脑海中会自动浮现出这栋房子的形象;当她谈到得知“那栋黄色房子”被卖给另一个家庭时所经历的心碎时,我们也感到心痛。她故意选择“播放”发送给她的语音邮件,随后展示了她的真实想法,这进一步促使我们与她一起重温她的经历。

  然而,她不仅仅分享了她的经历,还强调了这段经历是多么不寻常。她没有和其他13岁同龄女生一样闲聊化妆品或鞋子,而是与房产中介谈论固定利率、抵押贷款和首付……虽然她没有明确说明这一点(她不需要这样做):很明显,Eda不得不快速成长,成为一个更强大的人。

  她对“家”这个词的理解,从她头顶上物理意义的屋顶演变为更抽象的屋顶。家,就是她的“回忆和欢笑”所在的地方。最后,她接受了父母做出的牺牲,并学会为自己的成长感到自豪。

  Eda是一个能够克服任何挑战的人,这使她从众多申请者中脱颖而出。

  PART202:Yukta's Essay

  Successful Harvard Essay: Yukta

  Garishly lined with a pearlescent lavender, my eyes idly scanned the haphazard desk in front of me, settling on a small kohl. I packed the ebony powder into my waterline with a shaky hand, wincing at the fine specks making their way into my eyes.

  The girl in the mirror seemed sharper, older, somehow. At only 12, I was relatively new to the powders and blushes that lined my birthday makeup kit, but I was determined to decipher the deep splashes of color that had for so long been an enigma to me.

  After school involved self-inflicted solitary confinement, as I shut myself in my bedroom to hone my skills. The palette’s colors bore in, the breadth of my imagination interwoven into now-brittle brushes. Much to my chagrin, my mom walked in one day, amused at my smudged lipstick, which congealed on the wispy hairs that lined my upper lip.

  “Halloween already?” she asked playfully.

  I flushed in embarrassment as she got to work, smoothing my skin with a brush and filling the gaps in my squiggly liner. Becoming a makeup aficionado was going to take some help.

  “What’s this even made of?” I asked, transfixed by the bright powder she was smattering on my cheeks.

  “You know, I’m not sure,” she murmured. “Maybe you should find out.”

  I did.

  Hours down the internet rabbit hole, I learned that the shimmery powder was made of mica, a mineral commonly used in cosmetics. While the substance was dazzling, its production process was steeped in humanitarian violations and environmental damage. Determined to reconcile my burgeoning love for makeup with my core values, I flung the kit into the corner of my drawer, vowing to find a more sustainable alternative. Yes, I was every bit as dramatic as you imagine it.

  Now 17, I approach ethical makeup with assured deliberation. As I glance at my dusty kit, which still sits where I left it, I harken back on the journey it has taken me on. Without the reckoning that it spurred, makeup would still simply be a tool of physical transformation, rather than a catalyst of personal growth.

  Now, each swipe of eyeliner is a stroke of my pen across paper as I write a children’s book about conscious consumerism. My flitting fingers programmatically place sparkles, mattes, and tints across my face in the same way that they feverishly move across a keyboard, watching algorithms and graphs integrate into models of supply chain transparency. Makeup has taught me to be unflinching, both in self expression and my expectations for the future. I coat my lips with a bold sheen, preparing them to form words of unequivocal urgency at global conferences and casual discussions. I see my passion take flight, emboldening others to approach their own reckonings, uncomfortable as they may be. I embark on a two-year journey of not buying new clothes in a statement against mass consumption and rally youth into a unified organization. We stand together, picking at the gritty knots of makeup, corporate accountability, and sustainability as they slowly unravel.

  I’m not sure why makeup transfixes me. Perhaps it’s because I enjoy seeing my reveries take shape. Yukta, the wannabe Wicked Witch of the West, has lids coated with emerald luster and lips of coal. Yukta, the Indian classical dancer, wields thick eyeliner and bright crimson lipstick that allow her expressions to be amplified across a stage. Deep rooted journeys of triumph and tribulation are plastered across the surface of my skin — this paradox excites me.

  Perhaps I am also drawn to makeup because as I peel back the layers, I am still wholly me. I am still the young girl staring wide-eyed at her reflection, earnestly questioning in an attempt to learn more about the world. Most importantly, I still carry an unflagging vigor to coalesce creativity and activism into palpable change, one brushstroke at a time.

  专家点评:

  这个学生通过一个像化妆品一样常见的家庭用品,展开了独特且接受度高的叙述。这个物品被赋予在她个人和文化身份的方方面面,使读者能够立即了解到这个学生的个性。她通过对周围环境的观察,带我们走进她的世界,并在不偏离主题的情况下,讲述了一段成长的故事。

  这位学生在叙事性和创造性写作元素之间取得了平衡,而这正是成功的个人陈述所不可或缺的。作者让我们瞥见了她多年来的个人发展,将化妆作为自我反省和发现的媒介。她巧妙地利用化妆品系列的颜色和元素,展开了生动的描述。她对于意象的灵活运用也成为这篇文书成功的关键。她利用一个很容易与消费主义、“肤浅”联系在一起的物品,来支持她所倡导的社会和道德的斗争。

  我们还看到,这篇文书的作者有一个明确的声音。当许多学生试图通过各种各样的描写来提升写作水平时,这位作者能够操纵一种充满活力的写作风格,并保持吸引力、节奏和分寸。通过这篇文书的每一个字,我们了解到作者关心什么:有意识的消费主义、创造力和行动主义;我们也了解到她是如何思考的:好奇、无私,并带有女权主义色彩。

  作者在这篇文书的开头采用了一个文书写作的成功策略,即用丰富的形容词详细描述了一个小的场景,并对本人及其在社会中的地位给出更广义的评论。最后,这名学生的文书对自己的申请形象进行了补充,帮助读者了解她多年以来的倡议、可持续性实践、以及她想要为身边的人带来积极的影响。

  PART303:Tony's Essay

  Successful Harvard Essay:

  Beauty in Complexity

  Gazing up at the starry sky, I see Cygnus, Hercules, and Pisces, remnants of past cultures. I listen to waves crash on the beach, the forces of nature at work. Isn’t it odd how stars are flaming spheres and electrical impulses make beings sentient? The very existence of our world is a wonder; what are the odds that this particular planet developed all the necessary components, parts that all work in unison, to support life? How do they interact? How did they come to be? I thought back to how my previously simplistic mind-set evolved this past year.

  At Balboa, juniors and seniors join one of five small learning communities, which are integrated into the curriculum. Near the end of sophomore year, I ranked my choices: Law Academy first—it seemed the most prestigious—and WALC, the Wilderness Arts and Literacy Collaborative, fourth. So when I was sorted into WALC, I felt disappointed at the inflexibility of my schedule and bitter toward my classes. However, since students are required to wait at least a semester before switching pathways, I stayed in WALC. My experiences that semester began shifting my ambition-oriented paradigm to an interest-oriented one. I didn’t switch out.

  Beyond its integrated classes, WALC takes its students on trips to natural areas not only to build community among its students, but also to explore complex natural processes and humanity’s role in them. Piecing these lessons together, I create an image of our universe. I can visualize the carving of glacial valleys, the creation and gradation of mountains by uplift and weathering, and the transportation of nutrients to and from ecosystems by rivers and salmon. I see these forces on the surface of a tiny planet rotating on its axis and orbiting the sun, a gem in this vast universe. Through WALC, I have gained an intimate understanding of natural systems and an addiction to understanding the deep interconnections embedded in our cosmos.

  Understanding a system’s complex mechanics not only satisfies my curiosity, but also adds beauty to my world; my understanding of tectonic and gradational forces allows me to appreciate mountains and coastlines beyond aesthetics. By physically going to the place described in WALC’s lessons, I have not only gained the tools to admire these systems, but have also learned to actually appreciate them. This creates a thirst to see more beauty in a world that’s filled with poverty and violence, and a hunger for knowledge to satisfy that thirst. There are so many different systems to examine and dissect—science alone has universal, planetary, molecular, atomic, and subatomic scales to investigate. I hope to be able to find my interests by taking a variety of courses in college, and further humanity’s understanding through research, so that all can derive a deeper appreciation for the complex systems that govern this universe.

  专家点评:

  Tony的文书以在观星为开篇,向读者展示他对自然界、无生命体和生命本身的无限好奇心。这种天真的奇思妙想被艺术性地呈现出来,但这篇文书成功的原因是,作者能够思考深刻的概念而不至于迷失。

  故事围绕一个看似毫不相干的事情展开:一次随机的选择将Tony分配到荒野艺术方向,而不是他更喜欢的法律,因此他很痛苦。

  我们从他承认自己受制于 "以野心为导向的范式",而不是学习他最感兴趣的东西中,看到了他的脆弱。然而,通过文书的其余部分,我们发现,Tony继续学习荒野艺术的决定彻底改变了他。他的视角从“简单化思维”转变为沉迷于“理解我们宇宙中的深层联系”。

  Tony的文字中蕴含着力量,让我们看到了他潜在的思想广度和热情。从想象 "冰川山谷的雕刻 ",到陶醉于自然系统的复杂机制,这篇文书展示了Tony对整个世界的赞赏。

  观察到Tony对生命关联性的知识渴求,我们更加坚信,他不断广阔的视角将引导他的学习进入更多令人兴奋的未知领域。

  以上是关于哈佛大学2022年优秀文书范文的完整介绍,如果您对美国留学感兴趣,建议早做规划,上海托普仕留学服务是一个不错的选择,欢迎您在线咨询上海托普仕留学老师,托普仕5V1服务体系,21步精细服务流程,帮助您早日顺利拿到梦校offer!

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